Total Eclipse of the Fart
My witchy-ass on boundaries, soothsaying, and a unique writer's workshop offering
Shello, my people.
The eclipse is here! The eclipse is here! Were you ready? Did you sport your specially designed spex? Sneak a peek at your horoscope? Pull a Tarot card, even?
Maybe you did. Maybe you didn’t. But one thing all this hubbub has done is remind us, yet once again, how little control we have over our lives.
We’re all, in our way, reaching for some form of reassurance we might continue while wading through a huge pile of shit.
Experiencing, directly or tangentially, a relentless barrage of atrocities like genocides, earthquakes, the climate crisis, late-stage capitalism, racism, and scarcity, and the relentless cruelty of man’s inhumanity to (wo)man and LGBTQI folks maws away our souls. We’re all trying to figure out how to function with what’s left. The pervasive darkness and sense of helplessness drive us to scramble and root around for any semblance of light.
Maybe that’s why we were all so drawn to this eclipse. We know the sun (the known) will continue to shine despite the temporary obstruction of the moon (unknown).
Even though I was raised with the inevitability of a nuclear attack or viral annihilation (well….that’s still going on), I had youthful hubris on my side and could scrounge up enough hope to persevere despite it all. How? I couldn’t tell you. But that urge to try and push through is something I have to dig deeper for within myself every single day—no other person can give that to me. We are, ultimately, charged with digging through our own muckety-muck all by ourselves.
There are tools out there that can provide food for thought that could, in turn, lead to insight or in the least, a perspective you might not have had before. You all know I’m a seasoned journalist and essayist, but what you might not know is I’ve dabbled in soothsaying for decades as a word-of-mouth side hustle. It’s all storytelling at the end of the day, isn’t it? I became a witchy little nerd in my mid-teens (a full Millennial lifetime ago), I guess, a) because it was innate and b) to try and make sense of the volatility of the times. Today it’s become a bountiful hip industry, but I honed these skills at a time when admitting this predilection aloud, let alone in the same breath you defined yourself as a writer, would evoke a cloud of patchouli and deem you a flake who couldn’t be trusted professionally. It’s hard to imagine that happened, but it did and it wasn’t so long ago.
Learning to “read” goes far beyond YouTube Tarot tutorials and instruction manuals. Based on the synchronicity of the cards chosen in a particular moment, you are tasked with weaving the synergy of those cards into a narrative that resonates deeply with the querant. It requires you to reach out of yourself and tune into the murky guts of another to help them contextualize their question with an empirical view.
We all need the reassurance of being seen sometimes—even if it requires paying someone else to do it. But soothsaying is something we can all do by ourselves, for ourselves. All we have to do is make it quiet enough (whatever your version of that is) to become reacquainted with the core of who we are, consider what we want our lives to look and feel like instead of how it’s looking and feeling, and discern what we might be willing and able to try in hopes of getting there. We have to be willing to do the work.
Telling people about themselves takes a hell of a lot out of people who do this for a living—that’s why psychologists charge the big bucks. On (rare) occasion, I read for clients willing to pay an energy exchange for my time and talent. Before I developed healthy boundaries, before I understood what I had to offer as a compassionate, loving human being was more than enough, I would occasionally offer folks access to this gift in hopes I could help them through whatever it was they were going through. To avoid living in a state of perpetual brain and soul drain, eventually, I learned a lesson full-time soothsayers consider law: To maintain my sense of equilibrium in any relationship, the energy I give has to at least come close to the energy I receive.
So, on the topic of energy and exchanges and all that witchy-shit, I’m thinking of offering a unique service to fellow scribes (or people who just like writing) who might feel uninspired, stuck, and in need of a little help with self-reflection and mining essay topics and themes to cover in their work.
At the end of this month, (I’m thinking Monday, April 29th between 7:30-8:30 or 9 EST if there are 6 folks), I’ll be offering a small group Zoom generative essay workshop (limited to 6 participants) utilizing Tarot to help guide you toward subject matter and narrative. Think of it as a writing workshop-meets-Tarot reading. Because this is a pilot program, I’ll only be charging $25 per person (payable by Venmo or PayPal) where I pull three cards for the group, delve into their meaning, and help each individual brainstorm on how to turn this card pull into an essay or article to be proud of in a warm, supportive community of like-minds.
*If you’re a paid subscriber to MUTHR, FCKD, you’ll get a sweet discount and can join for $15!*
My hope is for you to emerge inspired and ready to dig into your next piece (or five!).
I’m legit: My essays have been published in The Cut, Oprah Daily, Shondaland, Catapult, NBC News, The New York Times, The New York Daily News, DAME, the Los Angeles Times (forthcoming!), Lenny Letter (remember Lenny Letter?!), among many, many other pubs.
Message or comment below if you’re interested and I’ll send along an invite! And please spread the word if you have a pal that might be game.
That’s it for now! Happy post-eclipsing!
xx